


How Much Time?

by LunerSoul997



Series: To Hear Your Song Again [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, Minor Character Death, POV Steve Rogers, Pre-Slash, Pre-War, Short, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Feels, i have no idea how to tag this, that should be good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27767353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunerSoul997/pseuds/LunerSoul997
Summary: His throat feels like fire, his eyes sting, his heart shatters every time it beats. The scent of lavender fades from the air. He feels as though he fades with it"Steve."
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: To Hear Your Song Again [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031286
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	How Much Time?

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place two years after First Blood (Steve is eighteen and Bucky is nineteen) and acts as a transitional piece between it and it's sequel.

  
Rain soaks the churchyard dirt, streams off of umbrellas and splatters against the autumn-dead grass.

Someone steps closer and squeezes his shoulder. Pressure and warmth, comfort and love.

It changes nothing.

The scent of copper and lavender lay dull in the air, buried underneath six feet of dirt and rock.

His tears are silent streams of pain, trickling down his cheeks. He wants to scream and flail and fight, but his mouth is glued shut and his limbs are filled with lead.

His throat feels like fire, his eyes sting, his heart shatters every time it beats. The scent of lavender fades from the air. He feels as though he fades with it

"Steve."

He looks up, ice blue eyes look back. It had stopped raining. They were the only two left. He turns back to the upturned earth and sobs.

He allows himself to be pulled into a strong chest, feels a hand cradle the back of his skull.

He doesn't stop crying, he just runs out of tears.

His chest is hollow.

###

He doesn't say much, afterwards. 

He doesn't eat much, either.

He doesn't move much.

He doesn't sleep.

He can't find a reason to.

###

Bucky says he should go out with him, take his mind off of things.

He doesn't want to.

He doesn't want to do anything.

###

Becca says he just needs time, every time, all the time.

How much time?

It's been two months, Becca tells him.

He still feels hollow.

###

Winifred says it's just something he has to come to terms with.

He doesn't know how.

He doesn't even know where to start.

###

George says it's an uphill battle.

He finds out that the hill is more of a mountain.

###

He breaks every mug they own.

He feels terrible afterwards.

Bucky sweeps up the shards and doesn't say a word.

###

In the beginning, he cried himself to sleep.

He hasn't cried in forever.

He feels like he simply ran out of tears.

###

Becca lets him hold her pet mouse, whenever he visits.

Mice don't live very long, Steve knows.

He shouldn't get attached.

###

He talks a little, on good days.

Other days he doesn't say a word.

###

Winnie makes him lavender tea.

He knows where she got the recipe.

He lets himself be thankful.

###

He applies to work at a diner.

He gets the job.

###

George invites him over for dinner a lot. He asks him if he wants to move in with the Barnes'.

Steve does not.

###

Bucky moves in with him instead.


End file.
